The Expendables

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Originally uploaded by @my_cine

If you’ve been missing action movies the likes of Running Man, Commando and Rambo, then The Expendables is right up your alley. Helmed by a cast of the most widely known action stars of now and the past twenty years, and anchored by Sylvester Stallone both in front of and behind the camera, The Expendables is a series of action scenes and explosions thinly veiled by a plot that substitutes a military dictatorship on a small island for Castro and the CIA.

Now, when I tell you The Expendables is thin on plot, I mean it. The actors move around and interact as if there is a plot, but in fact all there is to this is one script page after the next that must be played out in order for the action sequences to evolve in grandeur and eventually reach their denouement. I don’t mean this as an insult, in fact this is probably why the film works in the manner it intends – it’s a fun romp of gunfire, fist fights and explosions provided by people that the audience wants to see do what they do best.

What doesn’t work so well is the random bits Stallone throws in there to try and give these action stars a chance to act…most of them are action stars for a reason… The most legit actor of the bunch, Mickey Rourke, even has a scene where he manages to squeeze out some tears, despite the ham handed dialogue that accompanies it. Perhaps, I’d see more merit in the acting segments if the dialogue were given another pass – but again that’s not what you see a movie like this for.

The Expendables really settles into its groove in the final act of the film. Why? You guessed, because the last act is nothing but car chases, fights and explosions –one exhilarating romp after another. It’s so fun to watch you cease to care that the coup Eric Roberts character helped fun was apparently for profits from cocoa beans, or that the General/Dictator has made all of his soldiers wear face paint to show loyalty (seriously?), or that Stallone and Li manage to survive and Bonnie & Clyde style ambush in their car – it looks good on film and so begins a sequence of activities where every one of the stars gets their moment.

If you’re looking for an action movie that has it all from this past summer then you should see Inception. However, if you’re looking for a throw-back from the good old days when explosions ruled action films, see The Expendables.

Director: Sylvester Stallone
Writers: Dave Callaham & Sylvester Stallone
Barney Ross: Sylvester Stallone
Lee Christmas: Jason Statham
Ying Yang: Jet Li
Gunner: Dolph Lundgren
James Munroe: Eric Roberts
Toll Road: Randy Coture
Paine: Steve Austin
Gen. Garza: David Zayas
Sandra: Giselle Itie
Lacy: Charisma Carpenter
Hale Caesar: Terry Crews
Tool: Mickey Rourke
Church: Bruce Willis

Lee: What's he sayin'?
Hale: He said we're dead, with an accent!

Rambo

I don’t understand why Sylvester Stallone is revisiting his greatest hits, first he did another Rocky and then back to the ultimate guy series - Rambo.

John Rambo has been living in Thailand off the grid when a group of missionaries pays him to take them into war torn Burma, reluctantly he agrees to take them. When they disappear he is paid to take a group of mercenaries back into Burma to rescue the missionaries. Thus concludes the dialogue in the film and begins the mindless blowing up and carcasses piling up.

I seriously think that Quentin Tarantino had a hand in creating this installment of Rambo. There is so much carnage, gore and destruction in this film that it is a wonder that they proceeded with a script at all. I have officially seen Rambo rip someone’s throat out with his fingernails (because apparently snapping a neck is just so passé) and give so many “I can kill you with my bear hands” stares that I almost feel like if there were ten minutes more to Rambo I might be on my way to manhood myself.

I can’t help wondering what inspired Rambo. I have nothing against Sylvester Stallone working or even directing, but I really didn’t enjoy Rambo. Perhaps it’s just far too much of a guy movie for me.

Director: Sylvester Stallone
Writers: Sylvester Stallone & Art Monterastelli
John Rambo: Sylvester Stallone
Sarah: Julie Benz
School Boy: Matthew Marsden

John Rambo: Any of you boys want to shoot, now's the time. There isn't one of us that doesn't want to be someplace else. But this is what we do, who we are. Live for nothing, or die for something. Your call.